I unfortunately checked my phone in the middle of the night, which meant I spent a good amount of time scrolling absolutely nothing and then felt like mush when I properly woke up at eight. I got dressed and realised I’d accidentally taken Adam Sandler as style icon.

First breakfast of the vacation, felt like a test I hadn’t studied for but somehow aced. There were overnight oats (onos) (!!!!) (Make your prediction now: will I be eating anything different the following mornings?) Plus chia pudding, plus fruit in quantities that felt almost performative, plus shakshuka plus an omelette station. Is this a wellness retreat (the answer is no, as there also are all the cold meats, beans and cakes you could possible think of).

Here's the (THE) bowl: ½ onos, ½ chia pudding, dried fig, sunflower seeds (if they don't have a lost walnut sitting amongst them which was the case more times than necessary), peanut butter, all the fruits, cinnamon, raisins

At 10:30 there was Pilates by the beach, which turned out to be mostly donkey kicks taking place indoors, but I showed up.

Jannis was already by the pool, and I joined him, immediately realising I’d forgotten both my book and my sunglasses—purely out of a sense of responsibility for bringing the sunscreen.

After a bit of wandering and a bit of not knowing where our room was and eventually finding the room I landed in the sun, got into the pool, got out of the pool, read by the pool and generally rotated like a well-fed lizard.

Food happened again, and we can all give thanks to the sweet potato fries for making me roll out of there twice a day. There was noise, there was entrecot sizzling dramatically, there was a fish in paprika sauce that I cannot for the life of me remember the name of but will remember emotionally forever.

I talked to my dad, and then suddenly the sky started looking suspicious. Long pants on, and we snuck out the back door to the beach when it aggressivly started to rain. But we had errands to run. Spar delivered and we returned to the hotel, stopping for a quick cocktail for the room because it would have been rude not to. Cactus was yum, Bananarama was yumish and we discovered a little too late that we left our towels somewhere by the pool. - a problem for future us to solve.

We sipped on the balcony, and at 17:36 I got my second christmas preseeeent. Jannis got me pretty little bracelet which is famously known as "Tüdel", the best category of object. He also got to open a gift from his mom that contained a football jersey he ordered himself a few months back and I also got a pyjama, which I wasn't expecting! I got Jannis yet another book that may or may not be read. I will never stop giving away books as presents.

The sauna and ice bath hoopla happened and I did briefly wonder if this was about to become my new identity. I showered, got ready, and Jannis was on the phone with his family. Merryyy Christmas!

At the buffet there was a greeting (and goodbye) whiskey shot, Jannis was recognised, David gave us honorary seating, the woman from Jerez greeted us like we belonged, and suddenly we were speaking Spanish, drinking wine, eating properly, and then rolled ourselves to the Belingo bar watching a show that felt extremely krystallpalast-adjacent.

By ten we were back in the room, watching La que se avecina with one eye open, which felt like the correct way to end a day.